farters have to be the big spoon...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
