ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
