Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
