how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
