I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
third nipple confirmed
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
