Me too!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
