Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
