God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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