He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
