he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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