Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
