The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
