They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
