It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
