If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
