i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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