Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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