Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
