Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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