God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
