And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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