it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
