So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
