used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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