I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
