Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
