It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
