just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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