You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The feeling are messing with the penis
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
