I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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