During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
