K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
