I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
