I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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