Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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