I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
