2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
party gras won. party gras always wins.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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