Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
