im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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