my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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