when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The police scanner is talking about you again....
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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