next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This is my gift to your gina
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
