Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
