Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
