No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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