Duck Duck Cougar?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
