So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
