I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
