When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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