so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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